The Speech, RJ’s ½ Birthday, The Scrapbook, My Space and the 50 Cal

One of the most difficult things about being a Doctor is having to tell someone that their friend or family member is dying. While no Doctor has given me this speech yet, I have seen enough episodes of ER to know that many Doctors have an empty, mindless, pre-meditated speech they use to “deliver the news” (one aspect of the show that IS true to life). I think they do this because they don’t want to ‘let it all in’, and it allows for a certain detachment of emotion, but I made a choice in Medical School to not ever completely detach myself. I don’t have a pre-meditated speech and when I had to inform one of my Marines that his father was in the ICU back in Hawai’i and was likely going to die, I decided to sit down with him, face to face, and speak softly and slowly to make sure he understood everything that was happening. I explained his dad’s condition to him and suggested he pack his things right away to fly out as soon as possible. He took it very well, and as he left I reaffirmed the prayer I made the night before I left for Iraq – that none of my friends or family get hurt while I am here, for I can’t think of a worse way to be a slave to time, than being halfway around the world waiting for flights home to get to a loved one who is desperately trying to hold on to their life.

Karen Zimmerman, one of my Soldier’s Angels, asked me via e-mail several questions a few weeks back, one of which was the date of my birthday. I let her know that Dec 19th I would turn 32 and on June 19th I received a package from her. When I opened it, I couldn’t believe what was inside – a birthday party! She said that she wanted to throw me a ½ Birthday party, so enclosed was party decorations, games (pin the tail on the donkey was especially fun), party favors, a birthday cake (made of Butterscotch Krimpets) and a wrapped up present – which was a National Geographic DVD on weather phenomenon. [which I loved]. It was the best and only ½ birthday I’ve ever had and I wanted to mention it in my blog!

Julia Hutchings is also a Soldier’s Angel of mine who sent me an amazingly heartfelt gift the other day. She made a scrap book of me and my squadron and used printed out color pictures from my blog and pictures of my squadron (which I’m not sure even how she obtained)! My sister also does scrap booking and through her I have a very fine appreciation of how time consuming the endeavor is. I have been proudly showing it to all of my Marines and I have it on display in the Medical lounge for all to see!

Still another Angel Crystal adopted a doctor bear named ‘RJ Jr.’ for me, complete with certificate. I have him standing on the ledge of my office to greet all of my patients as they walk in. It is the combined efforts of this organization, my friends and my family that have made this deployment both bearable (no pun intended) and at times enjoyable.

Working in the hospital has been an amazing experience for me. I get to help Iraqi and American Marines and Soldiers and keep my clinical and emergency skills sharp, but sometimes the best lessons I learn through the stories that come out of that place - stories of strength and hope. A young Marine was critically injured in an IED blast a few days ago. This Marine lived to serve his country. (The doctors found his dog tags, social security number and blood type tattooed on his chest.) He lost both of his legs and one of his arms in the explosion and was in a coma for a few days before eventually coming to in the ICU. He was unable to talk, but gestured for a pen and paper. He scribbled on the paper with his left hand as best he could a name and a password. The doctors and nurses looked confused. He then took a second piece of paper and wrote “This is my user name and password. Can you please log on to my My Space Profile and create a posting for me saying that it’s going to take a lot more than that to kill me!” Unbelievable. His next sentence was “I lost both of my legs didn’t I?”

This past week I went flying with my squadron to test some machine guns. It was good to get outside the perimeters of the base and to satisfy my dying curiosity for 3 months to know what lies beyond the walls. Well, let me tell you, there’s a lot of nothing! Sand and flat terrain as far as the eye can see. It was somewhat disappointing (lol) but one of my Marines asked me, “Would you like to help us test one of the guns?” So I stepped up and fired a bunch of rounds from the air on a target below. I never thought I’d be finding myself firing a 50 caliber machine gun from a helicopter in Iraq, but there I was. For a moment I felt like Rambo (except that Rambo would have hit the target instead of spraying rounds for about a mile in each direction… that gun really packed a wallop!). One of my Marines later asked me if while I was firing I screamed out “Die mother fuc***, die!” (lol). I said no, am completely against killing of any life whatsoever and although I’m not an aggressive person at all, after firing that thing I can understand that those words would be a completely appropriate comment for the moment. (Please don’t take offense or misunderstand). I just felt for a fleeting moment like a bad ass and no insurgent or terrorist was going to fu** with me!