Goodbye Aloha

It was just over a month ago that I received my “second sign” pointing me in Seattle’s direction. It was the day that I needed to call Valley Family Medicine in Washington and give them my answer about whether I was going to accept their offer. I was on a 5 minute break from an ACLS re-certification class when something told me to go for a little walk to get some fresh air. I was in the basement of an old wing of a hospital I had never been to and I decided to walk outside around the perimeter of the building along a small unkempt trail. Something told me to keep on walking and as I turned the corner, towards what looked like the back of the Children’s Wing, there was a mural painted on the wall…of Seattle and the Space Needle! I was shocked. Was this the second sign? (Remember the picture above the Best Buy urinal?)

Well, after thinking long and hard about it I’ve made my decision. I’m moving to Los Angeles and I’ve accepted a position with UCLA Family Medicine Residency Program at the Los Angeles Medical Center on Sunset Boulevard in Hollywood, CA!



While Seattle was a great offer, my trip to Los Angeles was life changing. I went thinking, “I’m never going to take this position, nothing can beat the Seattle offer, but I’m just going to go interview here to be sure”. I even thought about cancelling the trip altogether if not for my friends Victor and Jen. So why did I make this decision? LA is letting me start Feb 1, they’re going to ease me back into Residency, not make me stand call until I’m ready, let me have a lot of time to do elective rotations, they’re not making me do another year of OB/GYB, the Residents there were just as amazing as Seattle and every thread of my being told me that I was meant to be there. So despite a mural and a bathroom photo as potential signs, I’ve made this decision, on my own, and I’ve never felt better about it! Lookout Hollywood, here comes RJ! Leaving Hawai’i will be difficult, but I’m ready to start a new chapter of my life and feel like this change will be great for me. Who knows? If I do want to continue in my film career, Hollywood is definitely the place.

This past week was filled with going away parties and I have to start by telling everyone about Friday – the day I separated from the military, was honorably discharged from the Navy and had a going away party with my clinic. We went to Dave & Buster’s and at the end of our pupus, during cocktails, I proudly announced that I was gay and that I wished I could tell everyone sooner, but that I couldn’t take the risk with the “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy still in effect. They were surprised, but very supportive and said, “Doc, your sexuality has nothing to do with how you do business and perform in the clinic. It wouldn’t have mattered to us”. Pretty cool, huh? It gets better. After the libations were a flowin’ I started to get even gutsier. In the fashion of a Friday night that occurred 8 years ago when I opened my address book, started with A and called everyone I had ever met and told them I was gay, I decided to text message every Marine I had ever been friends with and tell them all I was gay too. After a lot of “For Real?” and “No Shit?” and “No Way!” text message responses, I got a call from one of my Marines who told me that a few of them wanted to take me out to celebrate my separation and see me off right. They said, “Doc, we’ll take you wherever you wanna go (implying a gay bar would not be out of the question either).” I said, “Take me to a titty bar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

So there I was, sitting up against the stage with a wod of ones in my hand as my Marines kept buying me shots of Patron. Meanwhile, “Crystal” had her own agenda. Crystal was the young, naked, half Italian, half Ecuadorian thing in front of me with large breasts and a silver piercing through her clitoris. She said “hey there big boy” as she lashed her brown hair in my face. Then suddenly, without any warning (as suddenly generally is), she did a forward flip on the stage, wrapped her legs around my neck and thrusted her pelvis dangerously close to my face. I say dangerously close because if her vagina had come any closer to my face I think of would have vomited on it. (Sorry ladies, no offense). Of course my Marines were screaming and cheering and of course I played into this little tramp’s game of cat and mouse, recalling the days when RJ used to dance on a box in Victor’s gay club and have guys stuff dollars down my half see through underwear…but I digress. With one bill in my mouth and one in each hand, I gratuitously rewarded her stunt with the placement of several bills in her garter and some in her tall clear, plastic heels. By 2 a.m. I had seen enough, but I agreed to go to Senor Frogs (another bar) for a nightcap. By 3 a.m. I decided to walk to Ono Cheesesteak, then walk home. That was my first of 3 days worth of going away parties.

The best night by far was last night. There was a party at a new beach club (outside) that was open to anyone but was honoring my going away. All of my friends were there, just about anyone I had ever met on the island (except Sheri mom). About 200 people gathered on this loungy outdoor venue right up against the water in Waikiki Beach.



I watched my last sunset, with Diamond Head in the back, as all of my friends gathered around. My friend Kevin made an announcement and then I gave a speech commemorating each of my friends (this took about 10 minutes lol, but I tried to be short). Afterwards the DJ played some of my favorite dance music and we all danced. I was holding it all together pretty well, and up until now I hadn’t shed a single tear, but then the DJ cut his music, the lights went down, and Miss Hawaii 2007 came out (a good friend of mine), and she danced the Hula in honor of my going away. It was too much to handle. The crowd was silent, everyone around the bar, on the beach, passersby, etc., all stopped and watched in amazement. I started to cry (just a little), and walked over to Billy, who put his arm around me and just gave me a look. Nothing needed to be said. It was such a powerful moment. When it was over I walked up and gave Pi’ilani (the hula dancer) a big hug and everyone cheered and screamed. Many of my friends honored me with beautiful ceremonial leis that had special meanings of farewell, good luck or aloha. I received gifts, hugs, blessings, smiles and it was the opportunity that I so needed to say goodbye to everyone appropriately.

Other than that, I got a crazy “separated from the military” haircut – a Mohawk, spiked up in the front and the back with lines etched out and the sides shaved.



It’s really cool and everyone likes it, HOWEVER I had forgotten when I got it that in just 7 days I have a baptism to attend in which I am the Godfather to my nephew at my sister’s church in Virginia. (Yikes!) Sorry Kelly, maybe it’ll grow out a little before then, or I can get it cut if you really want.

Tomorrow at 4:30 my tattoo is scheduled. I’m getting the Hawaiian Islands tattooed under my right bicep in the back of my arm and inside each island is going to be the colors of the Hawaiian State Flag. It’s going to be really cool and very meaningful to me and I can’t wait!
Finally, tomorrow Angelina embarks on a 1 month cruise, and while she’s very excited about the prospects ahead – being able to use XM Satellite Radio, being able to enable the “Traffic Feature” on her GPS Navigation, driving on new roads (at speeds over 30 mph!) and seeing new maps displayed on her GPS screen in the car console – I’m going to miss her. But I know she’ll be waiting for me in LA in January. As for me – my flight is at 9:30 pm tomorrow night, arriving in Dulles, Washington on Wednesday afternoon, United Airlines Flight 0966 arriving at 1:50 pm. Victor – I’ve done it, I’ve escaped from the island! What does my last night in Hawai’i have in store for me? Another crazy party perhaps? A big celebratory dinner? No – I’m driving over to Billy’s house and we’re going to grill some food, have some wine and have a relaxing last night.

This is it – Goodbye Aloha.

BTW - If you click on the link at the top right of my blog where it says "Follow This Blog", something magical happens...

I close with some pics of Victor's trip to Maui. I'll have some photos of last night's event soon...

Hanauma Bay with friend Jen

Downtown Honolulu

Kaneoehe Bay, Oahu

Kaneohe Bay, Oahu

Blowhole Beach, Oahu

The Sara Palin Pinata for an Election Party...

Roy's Restaurant in Waikiki