The Duck, The Door and The Cock (You gotta read this one!)

Sometimes the repercussions of our actions are pretty amazing! Most of the times we don’t even think about how something we do, even if it may seem so minuscule at the time, can have giant effects on the world around us. It’s moments like the one I’m about to describe that make you realize just how a chain of events can rapidly unfold around you. Within ten minutes I was asking myself, “How in the world did I ever make that happen?”…


I can’t remember a night that was as still as last Saturday. My friend Billy and I were just getting ready to retire for the evening and our stomachs were full from the meal he had prepared us – Scallops with Gran Marnier for dinner, mochi ice cream for dessert and beer. (Little did I know this was a deadly combination to eat at 11 pm just before bed! But I digress…) I fell asleep and began to have one of the strangest nightmares of my life, I was watching myself being operated on (an exploratory laparotomy for you medical types out there) and the procedure was going down hill. As I watched myself slipping away, the Surgeon decided he needed to amputate my head. He did so, and then informed my family and friends in the lobby of my tragic demise (my mom, Kelly, Jan). As my family walked out, I walked out beside them, except I was a spirit that they could not see or hear. The next seemingly 5 hours of my dream was spent coming to terms with my own death and letting go of my family and friends [Wasn’t there a movie like that?] Lesson learned – no more beer, scallops and ice cream!


ANYWAY, at 2:17 a.m. I woke up from this nightmare in a cold sweat needing to void. (Note to self, beer before bed makes you get up and pee in the middle of the night). So I walked to the bathroom and being unfamiliar with the layout of Billy’s house, I ended up accidentally peeing on the floor and missing the toilet at first. But again, I digress. Anyway, upon leaving the bathroom I walked out the bedroom, left the door open behind me and stopped for a moment to appreciate just how still the night was. It was uncanny. The night sky was clear, the full moon was casting a shadow on the animals outside on his yard, and the typical Hawaiian trade winds were absent. There were no cars on the road. There were no crickets. The only thing that was making any noise at all was the sound my footsteps on his new hardwood floors, and even they were barely audible.


Suddenly, a strong gust of wind came down from the mountain behind his house. It traveled through the bathroom window causing a ripple in the droplets of pee on the bathroom floor and ultimately it made its way into the bedroom, taking the bedroom door and slamming it shut, creating a loud gun-shot like clap that echoed through the house! I was startled for a moment but went back to bed. However, the deafening noise was so loud that it startled a duck that was out in the front yard. The duck started quacking as it flapped its wings feverishly around the front yard, ultimately making its way to the pen of cocks (roosters). The duck woke up one of the cocks who emerged from the pen and started to “cock-a-doodle-doo” thinking it was morning. His cry was a wake up call to the other 5 cocks in the yard, which all started to “cock-a-doodle-doo”. Their cry was a wake up call to the roosters down the street and within minutes, ALL of the roosters within a one mile radius started to “cock-a-doodle-doo”. One by one the neighborhood porch lights would go on until all of the houses in the neighborhood were woken up from the racket. People started yelling in fury and the once quiet, still night became a stadium of roaring and commotion. As I laid there I couldn’t help but to ask myself, as I tried to hide under the covers, “Did I do that?” [I felt like all of the local Hawaiian population was going to light torches and come hunting me down – like “the Others” in the TV show Lost or something.] SO THE LESSON LEARNED THIS TIME FOLKS: Don’t eat dinner and drink beer late, and if you get up, close the door behind you! (Oh – and turn the light on in the bathroom before you go pee!)


In other news, I spoke to my father this morning on the phone for the first time in 7 or 8 years. I was nervous, but the overall conversation went well, and I’m happy that I placed the call. Nuff said about that for now. (Jan and Victor I’m sure you’re flabbergasted right now).


As for the pictures: the first one is self-explanatory, the second is of my friend Kelli and me during her 2nd Annual AQUARAOKE CHALLENGE – a birthday party she has at a karaoke bar. She always brings props for people to dress up in (no that wasn’t my hat that I’m wearing). I think we were singing Phil Collins or some other cheesy karaoke song. The third picture is of Billy and me eating her birthday cupcakes. Yes, that is C3PO on the cupcake. Unsure why. The next 3 pictures are from this past weekend at a different Birthday Party at a house in the North Shore. The people in the photo are Joe (aka “Frog”), Jackie, Me and Kelli. The sunset sure was beautiful.


Cheers for now guys, and stay away from those cocks!
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Aloha!