Life On Board the BonHomme Richard Chapter 3

Day 8 on the USS BonHomme Richard (I can say that now that my blog is locked without fear of being reported) and I’ve got the layout of the ship pretty much memorized. There’s only a limited number of bulkheads, hatches and manholes (don’t laugh gays) to walk past every day before you start to make a subconscious map of the place in your head. I even have the intercom system down. It’s kind of like moving to Hawaii. The first time you hear Danielle Tucker give the traffic report on the radio and talk about the “Kamehameha Highway to the Kalanianaole to the Pali Interchange to H1 towards the Likelike”, you’re like “Huh?” But now I know the difference between 3 bells and 4 before an announcement, depending on if a 3 star or 4 star General is landing. I hear the hourly report on Flight Deck operations, or know when the flight deck is cleared for PT (exercise), or my personal favorite which makes me laugh every time for some unknown reason, “SWEEPERS, SWEEPERS, Man your brooms!” The only one better than that is when I hear “All Hands, BATTLE STATIONS!” Whenever I hear that I get so fired up, as if Captain Janeway on Star Trek Voyager is about to engage the Borg or something! I love it.





Anyway, 2 days ago we came very close to the island of Kauai (pictured above) and today we’re back by Oahu, near the Lighthouse and Waimanalo on port side and Kailua Beach on the starboard side.




Several of you have asked me what it's like for the Enlisted guys/Crew on board, so I included 2 pictures of the Enlisted Berthing Area – i.e. – where the crew sleep. As you can see, there’s rows and rows of stacked bunk beds, 3 high, with about 4-5 feet in between to create just enough space to move. 2 blue curtains can be drawn for minimal privacy and it’s lights out past 2100. When the ship “goes dark”, it means the ambient white light is replaced with a faint dark red lighting, basically just enough so that when your eyes adjust that you can see where you’re going. This allows for a little extra privacy for the crew but not much. Seeing as how there really aren’t any private spaces to have “alone time”, it’s commonplace to hear guys “taking care of business” before bed in their racks, or to feel some transient vibrations coming from above or below your rack (depending on what bunk you have) that aren’t attributed to the ship. (Again, settle down gays reading, I can hear Victor, Mike and Anthony saying “HOT!”).






What do people do for fun on this ship you may ask? Well, it just so happens there is a schedule of nightly activities on board, other than what the crew does with each other in the dark crevices and abandoned workspaces (and that goes on too - I mean, where else do the STDs come from that we treat?) The Dodge ball tournament commenced 2 nights ago on the Hangar Deck and was very entertaining to watch, but I have to say, the Sailors met their match when the Marines, who were temporarily on board for the exercise we’re doing, essentially kicked their asses. Hoorah Marines! During the day, Marines who aren’t busy frequently play cards or watch movies. Today walking around the workspaces doing my daily rounds, movies that were being played were “Platoon”, “Top Gun”, “The Departed”, “The Bourne Ultimatum” and the TV series “Heroes” which everyone is catching up on in anticipation of the Season Premiere in a month at the end of August.




Medically speaking, my squadron is holding their own, but I had one severe ankle sprain with one of my Corporals (pictured) and one ankle that when I x-rayed turned out to be fractured. He is being medically evacuated to Tripler as we speak to have it casted. Otherwise, lots of skin rashes are developing. In contrast to the weird Iraqi Rash that I could never get my hands on, this I believe to be attributed to dry, recycled air. Imagine living and breathing airplane air for days and days on end. It takes your body some getting used to. Anyone that has Psoriasis or skin rashes or even mildly dry skin is getting it 3x as bad here. I’m even getting some eczema breakouts for the first time in my life. Thank God I brought some Aveeno lotion with me. Pictured above is the ship’s ICU, which was quite large and capable of sustaining a Mass Casualty if one occurred. Monday we will simulate a Mass Casualty on board a nearby ship for training purposes and I'll be flying with Sailors acting as patients to Tripler Army Medical Center. It should be a great exercise and lots of fun (and Sailors love to put makeup on lol).



I end this entry with Chow. One of our Marine Pilots, from the South, loves his Cajun food. Nothing is too spicy for him (kind of like you mom, if you’ve figured out how to access my now locked blog and you’re reading). So he took the Adobo Pork, added some onions from the salad bar, doused it with black pepper and Tabasco, then added a dozen or so Jalapenos, mixed it all together and ate it! And let me tell you, he’s kind of a gassy guy to begin with. I bet his bunkmate is going to be kept awake tonight, only these "in-the-dark vibrations" will be accompanied by a gaseous eruption vice a liquid one. “All Hands – BATTLESTATIONS!!!” LOL.

Is this getting too gross????? Just keepin’ it real folks.

Aloha.

I leave you with some Navy Lingo I've been learning:

Skuttlebutt = water fountain or to gossip/rumors
Portholes = windows
Ladderwell = stairs
Autodog = the ice cream machine
Hatch = door
Jettison = to throw overboard
Jetsom = the things you toss overboard to stay afloat
Flotsom = the things that come up from the ocean after you sink
To "Get a BT Punch" = to be hazed
skivies = underwear
forward = forward
aft = behind/back
port = left
starboard = right
astern = walking backward
athwartship = walking to a P corridor
Wardroom = where the Officers eat
Mess Decks = where the Enlisted eat
Stateroom = where Officers sleep
Berthing Area = where Enlisted / Crew sleep
Scullery = the dishwashing area
Cup of Joe = coffee (good story behind that)
Poop Deck = the shitter
Keel = the backmost part of the ship
Brigg = jail
Coffin Locker = the space where enlisted guys keep their personal items, located under their rack
Geedunk = Candy
Reefer = refridgerator
Squid = any Sailor on a boat can be called this (slang)
Swab = mop
Swabee = one who mops
Forecastle = part of the ship that makes a V, traditionally where Berthing is
Bridge = where the CO resides
Peacoat = jacket
to "nuke it out" = to overthink something